The Thin Line Between Reality and Imagination: Attachment Orientations and the Effects of Relationship Threats on Sexual Fantasies

Abstract

The authors examined the effects of relationship threats on sexual fantasies. In two studies, participants described a sexual fantasy following an imagination task and reported their attachment orientations. In Study 1, participants imagined relationship or nonrelationship threat scenes. Results indicated that relationship threat led to fantasies that involved interpersonal distance and hostility themes. Furthermore, following relational threat, women and more anxiously attached individuals were most likely to use relationship-maintaining strategies in their fantasies. More anxiously attached individuals were also particularly likely to represent themselves as alienated. In Study 2, participants imagined sexual or emotional threat scenes. The findings showed that sexual threat elicited self-enhancement, whereas emotional threat led to fantasies involving both self-enhancement and attachment-related themes. Emotional threat was also most likely to induce negative views of others in more avoidant women. Implications for understanding the underlying functions of sexual fantasies within the context of romantic relationships are discussed.

Bound to interact: The divergent goals and complex interplay of attachment and sex within romantic relationships

“…In an initial series of studies, participants imagined relationship-threatening scenes (e.g., a partner's infidelity) or non-relationship threatening scenes (failure on an exam) and then rated or described their desire to have sex, reasons for engaging in sex, and what sexual activities they would like to engage in, that is, their sexual fantasies (Birnbaum, Svitelman, Bar-Shalom, & Porat, 2008;Birnbaum, Weisberg, & Simpson, 2010). Results indicated that relationship threat strengthened both self-enhancement motives and pro-relationship motives, suggesting that people use sex both to maintain their self-esteem and to repair the threatened relationship.…”

Desire under attack: Attachment orientations and the effects of relationship threat on sexual motivations

“…This pattern may be particularly marked in the sexual realm, because of highly avoidant individuals' tendency to use sex to maximize distance, even in the most intimate interactions (e.g., Birnbaum, 2010;. To be sure, a recent study has shown that relationship threat induced a negative view of others in highly avoidant individuals' sexual fantasies (Birnbaum et al, 2008). This negative view of others may eventually lead to sexual disengagement, at least from one's partner, as our findings suggest.…”

“…Participants were asked to complete a packet of questionnaires at their own pace (all questionnaires were in Hebrew). Following the instructions, participants began the relationship visualization task, which was adapted from a procedure developed by Birnbaum et al (2008). Specifically, they were randomly assigned to one of three visualization conditions: (a) a relationship threat scene in which they were asked to imagine that their romantic partner was considering breaking up with them; (b) a non-relationship threat scene in which participants were asked to imagine that they had just failed in an important exam (this condition was included to test whether sexual motivation is affected by global aversive feelings versus specific threats to the relationship); and (c) a non-threatening scene in which participants were asked to imagine that their partner was going to the grocery store.…”

“…Highly anxious individuals are therefore particularly likely to experience jealousy, and they express it by engaging in relationship-maintaining behaviors (e.g., doing special favors for their partners) and surveillance behaviors (Guerrero, 1998). Because highly anxious individuals rely heavily on sex to achieve their attachment goals (Birnbaum, 2010;Birnbaum, Reis, Mikulincer, Gillath, & Orpaz, 2006;Davis et al, 2004), they are particularly prone to experiencing frequent sexual fantasizing involving attachment-related themes when faced with relational threats (Birnbaum, Svitelman, Bar-Shalom, & Porat, 2008;Davis et al, 2003).…”

“…The specific motives elicited by threat may depend on one's expectations, goals, and assessment of threat (Birnbaum et al, 2008). Study 2 was designed to examine the effects of threat on motives for having sex and the possible role of attachment orientations in moderating these effects.…”