Although a large number of publications in the family therapy field stress the importance of children in family therapy, some authors report that, in practice, many family therapists do not actively involve children in their therapies. In this article, I reflect on the experiential reasons for this exclusion of children. I will consider the importance of the use of the self of the therapist and of the creation of a safe therapeutic culture for the child. Practical suggestions are made of ways to involve children in family therapy. Finally, these ideas are illustrated in a case example of a family therapy with an adoptive family.