Organogel materials are vital for impact or shock resistance because of their highly tailored dynamic properties. However, concurrently achieving excellent anti‐impact and damping performances, high stability, and self‐healing properties is challenging. Herein, a novel intelligent protective organogel (IPO) comprising a dynamic boronic ester containing poly(urethane–urea) as the network skeleton with a matching mesh size is synthesized, the network precisely entraps the hyperbranched fluid used as the bulky solvent via steric hindrance. The IPO exhibits self‐healing ability, excellent impact responsiveness (a 1950‐fold increase in flow stress under various impact speeds), and energy dissipation (the loss factor >0.8 from 10−4 to 104 Hz). The IPO maintains its dynamic mechanical properties during hot pressing and hydrolysis, exhibiting high stability. Furthermore, the IPO exhibits omnibearing protection. When used as a protective coating, the IPO dissipates the impact force by 87% and 89% of control upon passive and active impact, respectively. When used as a shock pad, it attenuates 91% of the amplitude in the high‐frequency vibrations. This study offers a novel perspective on the synthesis of tailored sterically hindered organogel and provides valuable insights into the development of next‐generation intelligent protective materials that exhibit impact and vibration resistance.