Using Identity Processes to Understand Persistent Inequality in Parenting

Abstract

Despite growing acceptance of a ''new fatherhood'' urging fathers to be engaged in family life, men's relative contributions to housework and child care have remained largely stagnant over the past twenty years. Using data from in-depth interviews, we describe how identity processes may contribute to this persistent inequality in parenting. We propose that the specificity of men's identity standards for the father role is related to role-relevant behavior, and that the vague expectations many associate with ''new fatherhood'' both contribute to and result from men's underinvolvement. Consistent with this proposal, we find that while all fathers face difficulty living up to expectations of ''new fatherhood,'' those with vague identity standards contribute less to carework and are less committed to the father identity, in part because they are less likely to experience self-discrepancy. We outline the implications of our results for future research in identity theory and for understanding inequality in households.

The Role of Significant Others in Shaping Fathers’ Identities and Behavior

“…By reading and re-reading our summaries in various groupings, important patterns began to emerge. As discussed in previous work (Collett et al 2015), we discovered that men's interpretations of identity meanings varied in clarity, and those men with more well-developed understandings of who they aspired to be as fathers contributed more and displayed greater commitment to their families and fatherhood. We investigated the sources of specificity and found that diffuse interpretations of what it means to be a father were common among men who lack a father figure or who use their fathers as negative role models (e.g., men who want to be the person their father was not).…”

“…If they see consistency between the way that others see them, based on reflected appraisals (Cooley 1902), and their identity standard, they experience identity confirmation. This results in positive emotions and self-perceptions and may enhance a man's commitment to the identity (Collett et al 2015). Any perceived mismatch, on the other hand, indicates self-discrepancy, generates negative emotion, and will either prompt increased efforts at involvement or lead a father to alter or abandon the identity either cognitively or behaviorally (Burke and Harrod 2005;Cast and Cantwell 2007).…”

“…There is also little impetus for men to change because even fathers who are falling short of expectations can rate themselves as "doing a very good job" (Jones and Mosher 2013). With the vague directive that a man should "be there" as a central component of new fatherhood, men with various levels of involvement in family life are able to see themselves as satisfying that expectation (Collett et al 2015). Both the father who stays in an unhappy relationship, despite not doing anything to help care for his home or his children, and the father who serves as his children's primary caregiver as his partner works full time can interpret their behavior as "being there," thus successfully enacting fatherhood.…”

“…Because guides for action are ambiguous and unclear, fathers' identity performances are largely improvised and a variety of actions or approaches are seen as appropriate (McCall and Simmons 1978). As a result, there is significant variation in men's meanings of fatherhood and how these are realized in interaction (Collett, Vercel, and Boykin 2015;Tsushima and Burke 1999). This variation has implications for parenting behavior, gender inequality, and how parents perceive and evaluate themselves.…”

The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap

“…In the epilogue to the 2016 edition, Coontz observed that "heterosexual men are now in the midst of their own gender revolution" (p. 382). The ideology of the "new father" is one who is nurturing and emotionally engaged with his child (Collett, Vercel, & Boykin, 2015). Although fathers today are more involved in their children's day-to-day caretaking activities than in previous cohorts (Marsiglio, Amato, Day, & Lamb, 2000), Coontz observed that the ideology of the traditional family is still prevalent.…”