How do females select a mate when they have mating preferences for multiple male traits? In experimental studies, female fiddler crabs (Uca mjoebergi) show a strong preference for males with larger claws and higher wave rates. In the field, there is no correlation between male claw size and observed wave rate. Here we document natural mating behaviour and show that females approach males who wave at a higher rate than nearby competitors. On average, an approached male had a significantly larger claw than his two nearest neighbours but did not differ in size from his two closest waving competitors. In general, smaller males were less likely to wave at approaching females. Females therefore approached mates based directly on wave rate but, because smaller males were less likely to wave, this indirectly resulted in female choice for larger than average males. Our study raises two issues. First, how do we relate the field results to previous experimental studies showing a female preference for larger claws? Second, in U. mjoebergi, males defend smaller neighbours against intruders. Our study suggests that one benefit of such defence coalitions is to decrease the number of immediate competitors present during female mate choice by retaining smaller neighbours.