The relationship between parents forms a significant part of the social environment within which infants and children develop. Research and clinical practice indicate that the process of becoming a parent can place a strain on a couple's partnership and that the presence of children can be associated with diminished levels of satisfaction within marriage. This paper considers why marital satisfaction may decline with the roles and responsibilities of parenthood and pays particular attention to the problem of managing difference at personal and public levels when unconscious assumptions and conscious expectations merge and apply pressure on the individual parents and their relationship.

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The importance of the relationship between parents is frequently underestimated by those designing and developing services to support parents in bringing up their children. Instead, the primary focus of recent family support initiatives in the United Kingdom has been on improving parenting skills. This article describes the outcomes of a project designed to maximize the effectiveness of parenting support to vulnerable families through sensitizing the workforce of a community‐based adult mental health agency to take account of the parental couple in providing postnatal support groups, parenting workshops and relationship counselling. Evaluating outcomes from these services suggests that a couple orientation adds significant value to the effectiveness of parenting support.

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