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This article outlines our clinical development as therapists working with mothers and daughters showing a high level of psychological distress and searching for a way to remain connected. We explore the contemporary discourses of mothering and mother blame to enrich our practice and enable women to acknowledge responsibility constructively and move from the paralysis of blame, shame and guilt. Within the context of these restraints we elaborate our model of working which aims to establish a therapeutic alliance with both mother and daughter and enables exploration of the complex levels of contextual and emotional meaning which underpin their relationship. We aim to develop mutual empathy without sacrificing appropriate responsibility. We believe that systemic practice has inadequately addressed these issues in clinical practice. We encourage greater transparency and self-reflexivity in our encounters.

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