Relative to gender, race, and class, age relations are undertheorized. Yet age, like gender, is routinely accomplished in daily life. Grandmothers and adult daughters simultaneously do age and gender as they support one another in managing paid work and domestic responsibilities. Drawing on ethnographic data and interviews with 90 single mothers and 30 grandmothers (babushki) in Russia, I explore intergenerational negotiations for support. Both single mothers and grandmothers are held accountable for doing gendered age, but labor and marriage markets tip the balance in favor of single mothers. Single mothers re-create youth privilege, finding their lives simpler with a babushka. Some grandmothers embrace newer discourses of femininity, challenging assumptions about age and family status that oblige them to perform care work. But most grandmothers do whatever they can to help daughters, feeling more dependent than ever on them because of the uncertainties of capitalism and the state’s retrenchment. I contribute to theories of age and gender intersectionality by making visible both single mothers’ youth privilege and grandmothers’ unpaid, often devalued, care work.

Although most Russian nonresident fathers feel torn between old and new ideals of fatherhood, they end up accepting older, narrow ideals. Fathers reproduce the dominant gender discourse, which deems men irresponsible and infantile and diminishes the importance of fathers. On the basis of extensive fieldwork, including in‐depth interviews (N = 21) and observational data, I argue that men reproduce minimalist standards of fatherhood because, in part, keeping the bar low enables them to still consider themselves decent fathers. In addition, fathers’ beliefs about the inherent deficiencies of nonresident fatherhood and the increased socioeconomic pressures and loosened constraints surrounding fatherhood in post‐Soviet Russia converge to push fathers to settle for the status quo of detached fatherhood.

The heavy drinking of alcohol remains primarily a hegemonically masculine ritual worldwide. Yet scholarship has undertheorized women’s practices in shaping the boundaries of masculine rituals, including drinking. Drawing on 12 months of ethnographic fieldwork and 151 interviews with single mothers, married mothers, nonresident fathers, and grandmothers from diverse class backgrounds, I demonstrate that Russian women perform extensive invisible management labor in attempting to produce responsible men. Constrained by a starkly unequal gender division of domestic labor, wives and mothers engage in varied “patriarchal bargains” as they shape men’s drinking practices, co-producing hegemonic masculinity. Whereas in the Soviet period women also managed men’s drinking, today new gender strategies have emerged. More women are held accountable to a collusive femininity involving both accommodation and resistance, upholding men’s drinking privileges only if breadwinning occurs. As women perform invisible labor, they end up reproducing the conditions that demand this labor from them in the first place. Some women embrace an alternative femininity by becoming single mothers and refusing to manage men’s drinking, especially when men fail as breadwinners. Theorizing collusive and alternative femininities, as well as women’s invisible labor, advances our knowledge of how multiple femininities shape, and may in time change, hegemonic masculinity.

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