‘Cleaning Your Glasses’: A Prerequisite for ‘Catching Your Child Being Good’

Abstract

Used widely throughout the parenting literature, the phrase ‘Catch them being good’ encapsulates much of current practice that has been shown to be effective in reducing instances of non‐compliance in children with complex and challenging behaviours. ‘Catching your child being good’ is obviously in line with the strategies of praise, encouragement and positive reinforcement. But for some parents, ‘Catching their child being good’ after long periods of defiance becomes almost an impossible task. Metaphorically speaking, ‘Cleaning your glasses' is a necessary prerequisite for effectively ‘catching your child being good’. This metaphor and an associated six‐phase therapeutic intervention seek to enhance a parent's ability to ‘Catch their child being good’, by working through parental distortions, restraints and negativity. This paper introduces the metaphor's origin and use; describes keys concepts; and gives a detailed case example to highlight the advantages and limitations of the intervention.

A Review of the Nurtured Heart Approach to Parenting: Evaluation of its Theoretical and Empirical Foundations

“…To address parent mental health, some parent guidebooks include chapters dedicated to this topic (e.g., Christophersen & Mortweet, 2003;Webster-Stratton, 1992 Though the chapters from the books described above are likely to be helpful for many parents, some parents may require clinical assistance to build coping skills and overcome longstanding patterns of negative self-talk. Service provider Stewart Redshaw (2007) uses a sixphase intervention based on multiple therapeutic perspectives to help parents work through what he describes as inevitable "dirty glasses" (or distorted negative perceptions) that result from prolonged negative interactions with challenging children. Parents of especially intense children may benefit from professional assistance of the kind Redshaw describes.…”

Therapeutic Musings: The Models Which Contribute to My Practice

“…A recent paper by Stewart Redshaw reminds me that both are related to Bateson's core concept of 'double description'. Redshaw (2007) talks about helping parents to develop contrasting pictures of their child's behaviours, firstly the problematic behaviours in detail and then any examples of positive behaviours. He helps parents realise that they first need to clean the 'dirty glasses' that can only see problems in order to achieve 'clean glasses' that can then 'catch their child being good'.…”