Do others judge us as harshly as we think? Overestimating the impact of our failures, shortcomings, and mishaps.

Abstract

When people suffer an embarrassing blunder, social mishap, or public failure, they often feel that their image has been severely tarnished in the eyes of others. Four studies demonstrate that these fears are commonly exaggerated. Actors who imagined committing one of several social blunders (Study 1), who experienced a public intellectual failure (Studies 2 and 3), or who were described in an embarrassing way (Study 4) anticipated being judged more harshly by others than they actually were. These exaggerated fears were produced, in part, by the actors' tendency to be inordinately focused on their misfortunes and by their resulting failure to consider the wider range of situational factors that tend to moderate onlookers' impressions. Discussion focuses on additional mechanisms that may contribute to overly pessimistic expectations as well as the role of such expectations in producing unnecessary social anxiety. Most people have experienced the fear of "sticking out like a sore thumb." One may feel this way when dining alone at a restaurant, when accidentally setting off the security alarm in a library, or as the one guest at a party who failed to notice that the invitation specified formal attire-, not sandals and a Hawaiian shirt. Much of the force behind one's reaction to these situations stems from the conviction that others will notice and attend to one's status as an outlier. But how realistic are such concerns? In previous research we have shown that they tend to be exaggerated-that people often overestimate the extent to which others notice their appearance and behavior, both in their moments of triumph and, perhaps especially, in their moments of chagrin. People commonly believe, in other words, that the "social spotlight" shines more brightly on them than it actually does, a phenomenon we have dubbed the spotlight effect

History of Social Psychology: Insights, Challenges, and Contributions to Theory and Application

“…First, everyday life offers many instances in which people seem to blame themselves for failures and unfortunate events under circumstances in which peers and even neutral observers offer more charitable attributions, and at least some laboratory studies offer similar evidence (e.g., Gilovich, Medvec, & Savitsky, 2000;Savitsky, Epley, & Gilovich, 2001). Second, taking credit for success and blaming failure on external factors beyond one's control may simply be rational; successes are intended outcomes that one plans for and works toward, whereas failures are often the product of obstacles too daunting to overcome or unforeseeable circumstances beyond one's control.…”

The Paranoid Optimist: An Integrative Evolutionary Model of Cognitive Biases

“…Those who believed that their reactions in the game revealed managerial skill and that they were being videotaped attributed a greater desire for sabotage to their fellow students than those who did not believe they were under scrutiny (Kramer, 1994). Savitsky, Epley, and Gilovich (2001) documented related effects. Participants committed an experimentally induced social gaffe-failing at a "simple" anagram test or being described in an embarrassing manner.…”

Meta-insight: Do people really know how others see them?

“…On one hand, some research supports this claim. People some-times overthink the meaning of their own behavior (e.g., focus on their social blunders; Savitsky, Epley, & Gilovich, 2001), they overthink the meaning of others' behavior (e.g., read too much into others' reactions; Kaplan et al, 2009), or they do not detect or utilize feedback (e.g., Shechtman & Kenny, 1994).…”