Mothers, Fathers, Daughters, and Sons: Gender Differences in Adults’ Intergenerational Ties

Abstract

Women are more involved in family ties than men, but these differences may vary across generations as gender roles have shifted. We know little about gender patterns across generations in the same family, however. To address this gap, midlife men and women aged 40–60 ( n = 633) from the Family Exchanges Study reported on relationships with each aging parent and each grown child. Mothers were more involved (e.g., more frequent contact, greater positive and negative relationship qualities, and more frequent support exchanges) than fathers in both generations, with parental gender differences stronger in the older generation. Offspring gender differences were generally consistent across generations, with daughters more involved by phone in emotional forms of support, and in negative relationship quality; these gender differences were stronger in the younger generation than the older ones. We discuss pervasive gender differences that favor mothers, as well as shifts in gender differences across generations.

A Decade of Research on Intergenerational Ties: Technological, Economic, Political, and Demographic Changes

“…These patterns of support are also conditioned on gender. A vast literature has shown that daughters play a central role in the matrilineal Western cultures (Fingerman, Huo, & Birditt, ; Suitor & Pillemer, ; Suitor, Pillemer, & Sechrist, ). In Asian countries (e.g., China, Korea, Japan), by contrast, the dominant patrilineal norm renders parents more willing to help their sons and expect sons to reciprocate (Hu, ; Kim, Zarit, Fingerman, & Han, ).…”

“A Blessing and a Curse” Couples Dealing with Ambivalence Concerning Grandparental Involvement During the Transition to Parenthood—A Longitudinal Study

“…Ambivalence in these relationships appears to be fueled by a specific form of oscillation between dependency and autonomy among parents and grandparents, which results in tensions between involvement and interference (Connidis, 2015;Fingerman et al, 2004;Lüscher, 2002). Many studies have focused on grandparents' feelings of ambivalence (e.g., Girardin et al, 2018;Lüscher & Lettke, 2004;Neuberger & Haberkern, 2014;Pillemer & Suitor, 2002;Pillemer et al, 2007Pillemer et al, , 2012, while some have also included the parents' perspectives (e.g., Ferring et al, 2009;Fingerman et al, 2020;Gilligan et al, 2015a;Willson et al, 2003). These studies have shown that feelings of ambivalence are perceived as stressful and can have a negative impact on relationship quality, as well as detrimental consequences for the psychological well-being of both grandparents and adult children.…”

“…Furthermore, grandparental involvement is shaped by structural factors, i.e., the level tends to be higher in settings where female labor force participation is low, welfare state policies provide inadequate formal childcare services, and public investments in childcare infrastructures are meager (Adam et al, 2014; Bordone et al, 2017; Jappens & van Bavel, 2012). Overall, grandmothers, especially maternal grandmothers, provide larger shares of grandchild care than grandfathers (Barnett et al, 2010; Fingerman et al, 2020).…”

“…Numerous studies have indicated that ambivalent feelings between parents and their adult children are common, particularly when the adult children have their own children (Barnett et al, 2012; Ferring et al, 2009; Fingerman et al, 2020). Ambivalence in these relationships appears to be fueled by a specific form of oscillation between dependency and autonomy among parents and grandparents, which results in tensions between involvement and interference (Connidis, 2015; Fingerman et al, 2004; Lüscher, 2002).…”

“…Previous studies on intergenerational ambivalence have often focused on the perspectives of the older generation vis-à-vis their adult children, which were mostly analyzed by means of quantitative cross-sectional study designs (e.g., Girardin et al, 2018;Lüscher & Lettke, 2004;Neuberger & Haberkern, 2014;Pillemer & Suitor, 2002;Pillemer et al, 2007Pillemer et al, , 2012. Some quantitative studies also included the perspectives of the middle generation (e.g., Ferring et al, 2009;Fingerman et al, 2020;Gilligan et al, 2015a;Willson et al, 2003). Only a few studies on ambivalent intergenerational relationships have been based on qualitative research (Breheny et al, 2013;Hebblethwaite, 2015;Mason et al, 2007;May et al, 2012).…”