This paper introduces a novel approach that seeks a middle ground for traffic control in multi-lane congestion, where prevailing traffic speeds are too fast, and speed recommendations designed to dampen traffic waves are too slow. Advanced controllers that modify the speed of an automated car for wavedampening, eco-driving, or other goals, typically are designed with forward collision safety in mind. Our approach goes further, by considering how dangerous it can be for a controller to drive so slowly relative to prevailing traffic that it creates a significant issue for safety and comfort. This paper explores open-road scenarios where large gaps between prevailing speeds and desired speeds can exist, specifically when infrastructure-based variable speed limit systems are not strictly followed at all times by other drivers. Our designed, implemented, and deployed algorithm is able to follow variable speed limits when others also follow it, avoid collisions with vehicles ahead, and adapt to prevailing traffic when other motorists are traveling well above the posted speeds. The key is to reject unsafe speed recommendations from infrastructure-based traffic smoothing systems, based on realtime local traffic conditions observed by the vehicle under control. This solution is implemented and deployed on two control vehicles in heavy multi-lane highway congestion. The results include analysis from system design, and field tests that validate the system's performance using an existing Variable Speed Limit system as the external source for speed recommendations, and the on-board sensors of a stock Toyota Rav4 for inputs that estimate the prevailing speed of traffic around the vehicle under control.