The theory of resilience and relational load

Abstract

Resilience is one of the most profound constructs across disciplines. Yet, the largely atheoretical nature of the research on resilience continues to make it elusive. A new theory of stress and resilience in close relationships-the theory of resilience and relational load (TRRL)-is advanced to fill this void in the literature. The theory bridges communicative, perceptual, and physiological aspects of stress within the context of social relationships to explain personal/relational risk, resilience, and thriving. The TRRL examines how relational partners' and family members' communal orientation and maintenance of their relationships on a daily basis influence their communication during stressful moments, as well as their appraisals of the stress. The theory also details how these communication patterns and appraisals influence personal and relational health and adaptation. Finally, the concept of relational load is set forth, which is the wear and tear that chronic stress and depletion of one's emotional, psychological, and relational resources through repeated, stress-related conversations can have on relationships. Ultimately, people need to continually invest in their relationships to prevent relational load and foster resilience and possible thriving.

Romantic attachment, dyadic coping, and parental adjustment across the transition to parenthood

“…It includes strategies such as joint problem solving and information seeking, sharing of feelings, joint reframing of the situation, and mutual commitment. The experience of the transition to parenthood as a "we-stress" period rather than exclusively an individual transition for mothers and fathers is likely to reinforce the belief that mothers and fathers are a team when facing potential stressors, which is in line with core assumptions of the theory of resilience and relational load (TRRL; Afifi, Merrill, & Davis, 2016). The TRRL, a framework similar to the STM, posits that, when relational partners have a strong communal orientation toward life's stressors (i.e., "the ability to think of one's relationship(s) as a cohesive unit when managing stress and approaching life"; p. 669), they are motivated to invest in their relationships, thus enhancing their positive emotional reserves.…”

“…Common to both the STM and TRRL approaches is that a "we-stress" or communal appraisal ("we are in this together") would lead couples to become more committed in their relationships, which further creates resources that help to manage stress (e.g., engagement in common DC behaviors). Furthermore, as common DC likely fosters a sense of we-ness, mutual trust, and commitment within couples (Bodenmann et al, 2016), this should in turn strengthen a communal orientation toward stress and contribute to relationship maintenance (Afifi et al, 2016), boosting a process of feedback loops. For example, as research on TRRL has shown (Afifi et al, 2018), a stronger communal orientation and more maintenance behaviors were associated with less perceived stress related to the child's diabetes among fathers and mothers, respectively.…”

Couple Identity Gaps, the Management of Conflict, and Biological and Self-Reported Stress in Romantic Relationships

“…In other words, this type of identity gap could manifest in notions about how "who I think 'we' are" does not correspond with "who you think 'we' are." It is reasonable to expect that the perception of intrarelationship couple identity gaps could increase the stressfulness and negativity associated with relational conflict because partners might not feel like they are on the "same page" or "same team" with one another (see Afifi, Merrill, & Davis, 2016). Arguably, perceiving that self and partner share similar views of couple identity should be important in predicting overall relationship functioning.…”

“…Research on relational uncertainty demonstrates that individuals' doubts and concerns about their partner's level of involvement in the relationship (i.e., partner uncertainty) tend to be associated with a host of negative experiences and relational behaviors, such as heightened negativity, biases against the partner, and topic avoidance (see Knobloch, Miller, Bond, & Mannone, 2007). It is reasonable to expect that the perception of intrarelationship couple identity gaps could increase the stressfulness and negativity associated with relational conflict because partners might not feel like they are on the "same page" or "same team" with one another (see Afifi, Merrill, & Davis, 2016).…”

Exploring the Benefits of Affectionate Communication: Implications for Interpersonal Acceptance–Rejection Theory

“…Because an individual's network and relationships provide an important form of "invisible support" (Bolger & Amarel, 2007) during difficult times, this may be a way that affectionate communication contributes to resilience. The theory of resilience and relational load (TRRL; Afifi et al, 2016) further suggests that individuals have a need to feel secure, which can include feeling loved and affirmed. The theory suggests that communication behaviors that promote such feelings help build emotional reserves that contribute to resilience in difficult times.…”