When words do not mean what they say. Self‐agency and the coercive use of language

Abstract

This paper explores the relationship between language and the development of self-agency. I suggest that a child discovers that he or she actually exists as a person with a mind and desires through the mirroring response he or she creates in the parent. This developmental stage of 'teleological' level of self-agency is related to Terrence Deacon's concept of indexical communication. The coercive effect this has on others is explored and the way language may become subverted from its symbolic function and used in the service of indexical communication is discussed, illustrated by examples from the plays of Harold Pinter.

‘We should be playing, not talking’: play, self-agency and moving towards depressive moments

“…Adding to a shared understanding (for example by Bion, 1957;Joseph, 1987;Alvarez, 1997) of projective identification as the patient's communication of her emotional experience to the psychotherapist, Knox (2009) emphasises the use of language as a means of obtaining emotional and relational control over others. Adding to a shared understanding (for example by Bion, 1957;Joseph, 1987;Alvarez, 1997) of projective identification as the patient's communication of her emotional experience to the psychotherapist, Knox (2009) emphasises the use of language as a means of obtaining emotional and relational control over others.…”

“…(Kenrick, 2005: 37) Also reflecting on the potential hazards of communicating empathy, Knox (2009) highlights the inherent difficulty when the patient assumes that the therapist's words are coercive communications. (Kenrick, 2005: 37) Also reflecting on the potential hazards of communicating empathy, Knox (2009) highlights the inherent difficulty when the patient assumes that the therapist's words are coercive communications.…”

“…In order to facilitate the development of self-agency, Knox (2009) stresses the importance of the psychotherapist accepting, at least for a while, the patient's relating mainly by control and coercion in her need to create a real emotional reaction in the other. This developmental understanding of the countertransference made sense of my experience of feeling controlled by Tumi and of being compelled to respond.…”

“…The notion of the 'realness' of play (Winnicott, 1974) as well as the significance of the psychotherapist's emotional response (Knox, 2009) underscore Joseph's (1983 assertion that the usefulness of psychotherapy lies in it being a live experience, as opposed to the giving of understanding and explanation. In working with Tumi, this meant talking or interpreting less, as opposed to being in the moment of emotional reality by playing more.…”

“…Her need to cause a reaction in me was reminiscent of the infant referred to by Knox (2009) whose gestures and cries are designed to have a coercive impact on the parent. Her need to cause a reaction in me was reminiscent of the infant referred to by Knox (2009) whose gestures and cries are designed to have a coercive impact on the parent.…”