Why the Father Wound Matters: Consequences for Male Mental Health and the Father‐Son Relationship

Abstract

Adult men often report a sense of feeling a father wound when reflecting on their own father‐son relationship. Perhaps in part due to a rejection of traditional fathering practices that may have contributed to such wounds, fathers today are increasingly adopting a ‘new involved father’ role that is more welcoming of emotional expression and involvement in a child's life. This paper argues that adopting this new role may allow men to not only connect with their sons, but also to come to terms with problematic aspects of their own father‐son relationship. In this way, fathering a son may allow men to alter aspects of their self. Limitations and future directions for the father wound construct are also discussed. Copyright © 2012 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. Key Practitioner Message This papers offers a critical review and analysis of the father wound concept and its larger clinical and social developmental significance for males.Traditionally, many adult men report a sense of loss or grief when considering their own father‐son relationship.Becoming a father, particularly to a son, may allow men to come to terms with earlier father‐son wounds to the betterment of these aforesaid fathers and their sons.

Relationship Quality Between Older Fathers and Middle-Aged Children: Associations With Both Parties’ Subjective Well-Being

“…When sons are grown, father-son relationships remain important but are often emotionally complicated. Theoretical and empirical work indicates that father-son ties tend to be weak and/or strained, which may be a result of traditional masculine stereotypes that encourage emotional distancing in these relationships (Miller, 2013). This work mirrors widespread societal and cultural depictions of father-son ties, from the Bible's Old Testament and Oedipus Rex to modern literature (e.g., Death of a Salesmen) and movies (e.g., the Star Wars series).…”

“…Positive Father-Child Relationship Quality and Well-Being Child's gender played a key role in the associations between positive qualities in the father-child relationship and wellbeing for aging fathers and middle-aged children. We predicted that positive qualities of father-son relationships may be especially salient to both men's well-being because these ties tend to be somewhat tenuous and/or emotionally distant (Miller, 2013). Counter to prediction, however, fathers had better self-rated health when they reported more positive qualities in their relationships with daughters but not with sons.…”

Inner child of the past: long-term protective role of childhood relationships with mothers and fathers and maternal support for mental health in middle and late adulthood

“…This research provides implications for preventive methods of mental disorders, targeting the home environment to equip parents with skills to develop positive parent-child relationships. While mothers are often regarded as the primary caregivers and source of emotional support for their children, this study suggests that special intervention strategies are needed to improve father-child, especially father-son relationships [19,93]. Both fathers and mothers play an important role in reducing children's, especially sons', vulnerability to negative mental health outcomes and fostering their children's lifelong healthy mental development.…”

Memorable Experiences between Fathers and Sons: Stories That Shape a Son's Identity and Perspective of His Father

“…The men seemed so engaged in their storytelling, that their emotions seemed to almost sneak up on them, overwhelming them in the moment. Men, freely expressing their emotions, openly talking about their relationships with their fathers is very different than other research describing men as unwilling to approach the discussion of difficult experiences with their fathers (Katz, 2002;Miller, 2010). This indirect method of telling everyday stories may be an effective way to get men to speak candidly about their emotions, even when their stories describe very negative events.…”