The paper presents the analysis of the relationship between human and society in conditions of social transformation that threatens uncertainty when one is trying to build his life without any tension.The attention is focused on the fact that in the process of human interaction and society in the modern world, man is in a state of two mutually exclusive modes of existence: extreme individualism and the presence of a deep state of depersonalization of the individual. The first leads to narcissism and egocentrism, the other to the loss of the image of their holistic selves, status, apathy, mental anemia, disorientation and helplessness. In this situation, the shift in social theory from the task of protecting people from the dominant forces of society to its opposite, when a private hijacks public space. The article substantiates the position that modern man, cultivating for himself "game" attitude towards life loses its values of integrity, hinging only in its individuality. In contrast, the role of tolerance, namely, it is possible to prevent the disintegration of personality through the mechanisms of its retention in the framework of "permissible" and "accepted". Determined that assuming freedom of choice, tolerance, through dialogue with the "Other" is aimed at the personification of personality. The desire to understand the other does not allow the dialogue to turn into another imposing of their beliefs, for it involves the representation of the understanding.